Choose Wisely
Girlhood is at its finest at Pretty Powerful. Here’s a beautiful shot or two of our teen girl attendees from our Girls’ Day event in September 2025.
“I can tell how much you love yourself by the relationships you choose.” This is often how I open up a conversation with a group of teen girls or young women. Why? Because it’s true.
Women are relationship people. Listen to us long enough and before the conversation is over, you’ll likely hear us mention something regarding a close friend or partner.
Because relationships matter so much to us, they also have the power to destroy us. Too often women, young and seasoned, stay in relationships far pass their expiration date that are likely, if not already, derailing their lives.
The most interesting part of it all is that we often know the relationship is done. We see the red flags, and yet we still stay. Here’s the part where the excuses get really good:
“It’s not that bad.”
“I’ve invested so much time.”
“I don’t want to start over.”
“They’ve been through a lot.”
“What will people think?”
“It’s my fault too.”
“It’s harrrrd and I love them.”
What this really comes down to is you’re CHOOSING fear, mediocracy, disrespect, chaos, unalignment, and/or combination of this list. Let’s talk about why.
Before we go any further, I want to define what toxic relationships mean to us at Pretty Powerful. The truth of the matter is - no relationship is perfect and some are sent to challenge us in the best way so we can evolve and reach the best versions of ourselves. That doesn’t mean you should give up on them. In fact, if the friend or partner exhibits any of the following green flags, it may not be time to call it quits.
And since we’re here, here are some of red flags we encourage you to look out for:
With that in mind, let’s proceed and briefly unpack why we choose people who are no good for us.
As someone who has been there, done that, and got the t-shirt, it comes down to one hard truth - you don’t love yourself like you say you do. Anything we love, we cherish. Think about your favorite pair of shoes, your phone, your journal, your child, or your pet. If it’s in your control, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is gonna disturb or destroy what you find sacred. So why are you letting this person/these people disturb your peace and destroy your esteem? Are you not sacred? If so, it’s time we move like we know it.
We’ll talk about exactly how to do that in the next post. Until then, here’s a cheat code to put some distance between you and the relationship - GET BUSY. Pick up a new hobby, an extra work shift, a new class, and your crown. You got this and I got you.
